Feed His Sheep the Truth!

"It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption." (1 Cor. 1:30)

Sermons are a dime-a-dozen, and many are--at best--motivational speeches. I'm tired of being force-fed theologically deficient, behavior modifying, Old Covenant law focused, self-focused time-fillers. I'm waiting for the message with power that compels us to trust in our Maker more than in our own determination to be better. I'm waiting for the movement of God's spirit rather than a guilt-tripping altar call. I'm waiting for the worship songs that focus on God and His awesomeness rather than our lack and our need (though from time to time, it is fine to recognize it). I'm waiting for the message that places the Holy Spirit in His rightful place as the Center, and as the Head; as the Author, as the Essence of our being, rather than the side character whom we call on to somewhat bolster our ability to achieve righteousness.

I'm tired of being condemned from the pulpit, tired of being underestimated and seen as a statistic. I'm tired of feeling the undertones of self-depreciation because people don't realize who they are, not realizing that they are one with the God of all creation. I'm tired of being fed the personal convictions of others, and the experience-based theology systems. I'm tired of being made to sing about a god who needs to be coaxed "into the room" [God, I'm not trying to get your attention, you're trying to get mine!]. I'm tired of giving ear to people who haven't studied well, who are straight-up wrong about their interpretation of scripture and their idea of who God is.

My God is in me, with me, and throughout me. He is at the core of my being, and He is the reality of my life. He is my righteousness, my holiness, my joy, my patience, my peace, my love, my redeemer, my defender, my rock, my salvation, my high priest, my king, my hope, my life, my heart, my everything. Nothing that I do produces any of these qualities. He is all of these things for me and through me. I won't make a new covenant with my God, I will trust and value the covenant He already made with me. I won't say that I want Him to be king, because He is king. I won't say that He's welcome in my life, because He is my father and He already has every right to it. I'm waiting for someone to put things into the proper perspective.

"...one died for all, and therefore all died."

I am tired of being trained how to sanctify myself--my dead self! Are there no preachers who will preach that we ARE dead to our old life? Why do they have to act like our old sinful nature will pursue us until death? It will if we believe it's still alive! People will manifest what they believe.

Sure, sometimes I act wrongly. Sometimes I have a bad attitude. Sometimes I don't reflect Christ. But that's because I've lost focus of the truth. And I need to hear the truth (I am the truth --Christ!). Fixing my behavior is treating a symptom and not the problem: the problem of trust! People need to know God, to know God's love, and to trust Him. Sin doesn't throw God off the throne. He is and always will be on the throne, despite how I think, act, or feel. Sin doesn't even change His perspective of me, or His love for me! If we heard who we are more often--that we are dead to sin--then we might start acting the part. We might actually start believing it!

But I'm too busy deciphering between the almost truths and the truth itself. Too much of my energy is used up in this endeavor. It can be more confusing to my spirit to listen to an almost-there sermon than to indulge myself in one of my favorite TV shows, from which I know I shouldn't glean spiritual truths. I'm still healing from the destruction and enslavement I experienced from being open to every Christian philosophy and teaching thrown at me. I want to be open to learn from others, I truly do. I try to find the positive message even when I disagree. I also know that people are genuine and that their hearts are in the right place, and that God's grace is for everyone. I don't judge a man's heart by his message. Grace and love, I will extend.

Nevertheless, I am still waiting for the message, the song, the literary work that doesn't leave me striving, hating myself, hating mankind, or believing an almost-but-not-quite-there-truth that actually destroys my trust in Christ's finished work but rather makes me feel like I have to accomplish Christ's finished work in order to be worthy of anything! I'm waiting for the message of the gospel of grace. That sermon seems like one in a million.

There. I said it.  

I will conclude with this:

By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person's work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved--even though only as one escaping through the flames. [1Co 3:10-15 NIV]

Corporate Worship, Communion, and Getting Together!

Corporate worship is an amplifier, a magnifier, and an intensifier of the glory of God.

I was talking with two of my favorite people earlier today and at the end I felt full and had to come home and write. During the conversation, one of us would make a statement about God, and another would bolster it with an analogy or anecdote, or make a new statement building on the first one, until we were--or at least I was--so gratified. One statement about the goodness of God is made even better by the shared contemplations and reflections of the next person. Things I wouldn't--couldn't--think of on my own are spoken by those around me, and the entire concept is broadened. When the topic is God, worship is deepened because my appreciation is made more full: my appreciation of God from new perspectives.

"You two are like amplifiers." I said, so caught up in how much these two men had just... well, amplified my love for God in that moment. It was a bit strange to say it out loud to them, though they knew what I meant... I think. They had just made me so happy with their words.

There is something about God that makes me happy. When we talk about Him--about His finished work on the cross--it's like someone is pouring happiness straight into my belly and I want to start laughing, or melting, or crying (the good kind), or hugging everyone.

Alone, I appreciate Him. Together with others, I experience Him.

One person represents only one aspect of God. When we get together, we more fully represent God, because He is an infinite being, and each of us a different expression of Him. One voice is powerful, but like a choir, many voices makes for a louder, more intense sound. I would venture to say many voices in unison makes a more beautiful sound (that's my opinion. I'm a lover of choral music. I'm literally listening to Eric Whitacre right now). One mind is powerful. Many minds... you get the picture. Corporate worship is an intensifier: for the worshiper and for the One being worshiped. It intensifies your awareness of God, and it intensifies the effect towards God, I think. If any of you have been in an affirmation circle, you know that it is intense when you're the object of ten people's individual affirmations. One compliment is wonderful, but ten! You walk away feeling like the best person on the planet! Why wouldn't we do that for God if we love Him? (and we do!)

We've been talking about communion in my Corinthian class, about Chapter 11:13-34 (of 1st Cor.). The Corinthian church was having problems with their gatherings. When they would come together, some of them would eat all the food and others went hungry. Some of them would drink until they were drunk. "You're not eating the Lord's supper!" Paul said. They may have been keeping the formality of eating the bread and drinking the wine, but they were dishonoring each other while doing it. (The early church usually had communion before or after an actual meal).

Paul says in verse 27, "So then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord." Many people interpret this verse to mean that if we have been sinful, we are unworthy to partake. But the scripture is not saying that. It is in the context of people letting others go hungry at the Lord's Supper itself. The people were not considering the Lord's body--the church--while trying to remember the Lord's body broken on the cross.

The very act of Christ dying on the cross is a symbol of God's forgiveness! Communion is a sacrament of that forgiveness. It makes no sense to say that if you've sinned, you should NOT remember the Lord and His death until by your behavior that you act worthy! It is the most ironic thing to say, "your sin excludes you from communion." What? If anything, you need it more! Why did Christ die if not to take away your sin? Can any of us become worthy by acting right? no. We become worthy by Christ alone. What Paul was getting at was that they needed to take care of each other--they needed to consider each other--when taking communion.

In Israel, when we would celebrate Shabbat, we would take communion first. Of course, in Israel, it is not communion. It is a recognition of God and His creation (the wine), and His provision (the bread). But it was communion for us as Christians. We added our understanding as brought about by Yeshua (Jesus).

The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. (1Co 11:23-26 NIV)

[Note that Corinthians was written before any of the gospels, so this is actually the earliest account of the Lord's supper]

When we each broke the bread together and shared a meal, it was beautiful. It was different because I was enjoying meals with my friends every week, sharing in communion, and sharing in life. This, to me, is worship. A meal shared among friends is love incarnate. It is a magnification of God. It is an intensification of God's glory. It is not only a remembrance of the Lord's broken body, but of His body, being the church. I now realize that communion is meant to be shared together. It is not just a personal thing between God and me (though it can be). If you think about Jesus, he shared it with His disciples. The early church took it together. And in that light, I now see that it is also about being together.

That makes me want to buy bread and wine and make dinners and invite friends! What a happy thought!

I simply think that a person can't enjoy God quite as much without other people. I believe every person reflects God in some way, whether saved or not. And because of that, there is so much to be gained from those around you. I am blessed to have people in my life whom I love and who love me. So, here's to friends and family getting together!

Dance Moves Me

So I'm in a mood... trying to get my mind off of all the work I have piled up for the end of the semester. I've always loved dance, and I hope someday to work more with dancers, maybe even compose music for dance. So here's a compilation of some fun dances I have on my favorites list. (disclaimer, Some of these I have not watched in a long time. I have not screened them all)


This is my most recent find. This one was emotional.


I love the robot boys. They kinda bring an other-world quality to their performances, which is intriguing. I love the tall guys' faces. haha!



Here's another one I thought was creative.  The dance doesn't start until 1 minute in.


Gotta love the Jabbawockeez. Can you tell I'm partial to pop-and-lock?



This guy is so smooth, it's insane (hated the movie, though)


Dustin and I saw a couple of people in Mexico doing all these tricks live. It was amazing.



  ...And this one just for fun. :)

Reflections about Passover and Easter

On Friday, a long time friend of mine from Israel sent me this:

Susan, my dear, Passover is one of the three most important holidays in Judaism- along with Sukot and Shavuot, each symbolizing one of three basic values to live by (my own interpretation)-freedom, creation and community.
Passover is the time when our people became free, became a people. They had to become physically free- leaving the tyranting Egyptians, and then go through a hard and long process to liberate their minds.
So I see this time as an opportunity to rebel against all sorts of modern day oppressors and tyrants.
I wish you a happy spring, full of bloom and renewing life. And also I wish you to remember yourself as a powerful, moral, free woman.
Love you and miss you,
Send my regards to Dustin and your family.

This was probably the most impactful word of encouragement I have ever received concerning this season. I was deeply impacted by her reflections and reminded of my own need to stop and reflect on such things. I haven't done much of my own reflecting around this time because in the past I've always been busy with the Easter productions in our church, busy with details. And the last few years I've been busy catching up on homework and various projects. Busy-ness has kept me from stepping back and appreciating God and His goodness.

What does it even mean to be a powerful, moral, free woman? I feel enslaved to my work. I have made it my focus. Ah the pattern in my life. My troubles push me into busy-ness. Yesterday Dustin and I were hugging and he so gently lamented, "I feel like we haven't been together. Even when we go out together, it doesn't feel like you're with me."

It's hard to be present when I have a lot of work to do.

Nevertheless, my friend's words caused me to stop and reflect on the significance Passover has for Christianity.



Passover is a foreshadowing of the Messiah. Almost everything in Judaism carries symbolism in Christianity. In the same way that the blood of the lambs on the door posts kept Israel's children safe from death in Egypt, so Christ, the Lamb of God, shed His blood on the cross to save all of mankind from sin and its eternal consequences.

Easter Sunday is a celebration of that sacrifice--the crucifixion of Christ. Never mind the Pagan influence on the name of the holiday. For Christians, it is about Christ. Though the crucifixion is something gruesome to celebrate, it represents for us the ultimate sign of love because Christ took the punishment for our sins, and it represents freedom from sin and death. Christ fulfilled the law for us so that we may enter into heaven on His merit and not our own. That is freedom from the law that condemns (because we are incapable of fulfilling that law perfectly, and neither are we God's chosen nation), and from sin that destroys (because now our sin is forgiven, our guilt is removed, our souls are redeemed, and Christ's spirit enables us to live righteously).

I'm sure it might seem unfair for Judaism, which has been working so hard to follow the law (which is a blessed thing) from the beginning, how can it be that others are simply attributed righteousness on the merit of one man?

Christians can be so proud of their moral accomplishments, and judge others based on their behavior when literally their salvation is based solely on the merit of Christ, and not one ounce on their own actions. Easter should remind us of this. But throughout history, Christians have oppressed others because of this lack of understanding, thinking they are somehow better than others who don't believe, and judging the "unsaved" or the "back-slidden" (and these days, often the only criteria for being "back-slidden" is not attending church). It's an insult to what Christ did for them.

Christ made a way for us to enter, despite our shortcomings, but so many turn around and focus on all the shortcomings of the people around them, making it a requirement of salvation to fix those things, or to stop doing those things (sure, we shouldn't do those things, but it's the kindness of Christ that leads us to repentance, not the disapproval of those around us). We should not turn others away with our judgment, but love them the way Christ loves us: unconditionally. What does that even look like? There are only a few who have shown me such a courtesy.

Passover has special meaning to me because it represents what God did for me. It means He loved me, and included me, even though I was not born into the bloodline of His chosen people. I can take no credit for the good He has accomplished in my life. Thank you, Jesus!

Matters of Conscience vs. Matters of Morality

We were talking the other day in my Corinthians class about chapters 8-10, in which Paul explains how to deal with matters of conscience versus matters of morality and ethics. The hermeneutical subject of conversation, in other words, was that there are certain things as Christians we just shouldn't do because they are morally or ethically wrong (the obvious things such as murder, lying, stealing, etc.), but there are other things that are a matter of conscience (these are touchy subjects in many churches like drinking, dancing, watching certain movies... things that the Bible does not directly address).

We discussed some typical responses to this that Christians have:

1. legalism - making life black and white by making rules about everything, even matters of conscience (i.e. dancing is wrong, drums in worship are satanic, all drinking is bad, listening to secular music is wrong, levels of modesty, etc.)
2. lawlessness - considering everything acceptable because Christ has already taken the punishment
3. love - being free to do things out of love for God and others

The consensus was that it's easier to go the route of legalism, because all of your decisions are already made, and you don't have to think for yourself... and that the way of love can get messy, which is harder to deal with at times. Lawlessness was not even discussed (because obviously, that's wrong).

So, in Corinthians, the issue is food offered to idols. Paul establishes that idols are nothing, and that there is only one God, so eating food offered to idols is inconsequential to a Christian's faith. But there were people who felt that eating the food was wrong. It was likely (according to Gordon Fee, who writes the commentary we are studying) that these people were those who a) believed the idols were real, and thus believed that eating such food was an act of worship, b) were former idol worshipers who had too many associations with the practice and could not comprehend that it was okay, and/or c) those who thought it was just plain wrong. Those people, Paul calls the "weaker" brothers, because their conscience won't allow them to do such things. 

[side note: eating food in the temple, he says, was wrong because even though the idol didn't exist, it was still is an act of worship... so we're talking about eating food outside of the temple]

So Paul says, "don't ask". He told them to go ahead and buy their food without raising questions. But if someone told them that the food was sacrificed, for them not to buy/eat it for the sake of the other person's conscience, not for their own (because they were free to eat).

He tells the "stronger" brother not to pressure or tempt the "weaker" brother to do anything against his conscience, and he tells the "weaker" brother not to judge the "stronger" for his freedom in doing such things.
[side note: he is not actually setting up a spiritual hierarchy of who is better or stronger. He is merely using terms that help us to understand the concept]

So we asked the question, "Since Paul places so much emphasis on not causing the weaker brother to stumble, how much power, then, does the 'weaker' brother have over the 'stronger'? Where do you draw the line here?"

This is a touchy subject for me. Even in class, as we talked about the subject, I started to feel emotional and hurt for no apparent reason. It brings up a plethora of different anxieties from my experience as a leader in a church. I was taught as a leader not only to "not cause a brother to stumble," but to avoid even "the appearance of evil," so as to remain "above reproach." So, for example, if I was at a restaurant with friends, and someone wanted a beer, I would have to talk him out of it because I didn't want it to look like I was drinking. Or, if I went to my boyfriend's house early in the morning, I didn't want anyone to see me there, because it would look like I had stayed the night. Or if there was a church event and I wasn't there, I would try to go places I didn't think anyone would see me having a good time. I had to be secretive...

While we were dating, one day Dustin and I were in the parking lot of the church hugging, and then holding hands--praying, actually--and a woman saw us and went straight to the pastor's office and warned our pastor that she just knew Dustin was going to get me pregnant before marriage.

Thinking about all of this makes my blood pressure raise a little bit. My life was controlled by what other people thought--by what my actions "appeared" to be. I was controlled by the "weaker" brother. I was controlled by people who were judging me constantly. I taught my students (in the ministry program I led) to think this way as well--avoid even the appearance of evil, and to keep those around you accountable. So when I was in a situation in which the right thing looked like the wrong thing, I was in a panic because I desperately wanted to be a good example. And my students started to confront me (in an effort to keep me accountable) not only for actions that were wrong, but actions that only appeared to be wrong... I started to feel like I couldn't breathe without being confronted.

"Abstain from all appearance of evil" (1Th 5:22 KJV)

I have lived by this verse for more than a decade. And I realized the other day in our class that it doesn't mean "avoid looking evil." The word "appearance", or εἶδος (eidos) can mean, "the external or outward appearance, form figure, shape," or it can also mean, "form, kind." Avoiding the appearance of evil means, "avoid evil where it appears to be."

If anything, Jesus did not avoid appearing evil. He did abstain from evil itself. But he did not stop when people said he was corrupt for associating with tax collectors and prostitutes. He did not stop from accusations of being unclean while touching lepers in order to heal them. He did not care what he appeared to be. I'm sure there were times when he avoided saying or doing something for the sake of someone else's conscience, but he especially did not let the legalists dictate his actions.

So how much control does the "weaker" brother have?

Gordon Fee says:

First, it must be noted that Paul is not talking about merely offending someone by an action. Paul cares about that, too, as we shall see in the next lesson. But the stumbling block principle is used by Paul to refer to something different. It has to do with another brother or sister being destroyed or falling because of an action of another believer. They fall because they copy the action of the other believer, but cannot do so in good conscience

Second, how does this translate? I might be drawing fine lines here, but Paul will not let mere scruples judge his freedom (1 Cor. 10:29-30); although even here, he will try not to offend. Thus the stumbling block principle primarily deals with illegitimate actions, or at best borderline actions, that someone has convinced himself he can do without harm to his own Christian faith. Then someone else sees him doing it, and falls because he tries to do it also, but cannot do so with conviction.

Dr. Anderson (our teacher) shared a story of when she went to Germany and her friends there drank alcohol. She was, like many Christian Americans, raised to believe that drinking was wrong. So when they would drink, they would always taunt her, trying to get her to join in. And so she would simply judge them all to be sinners, and be proud of her own ability to abstain. Who were the sinners here? She said that her friends were sinning by trying to get her to compromise her beliefs, but that she was also sinning by judging their freedom to drink.

Paul says in 1 Cor. 4:3 that he cares very little if he is judged by people. Yet in chapter 9, he says that he makes himself a slave to everyone for the sake of the gospel. What I gather from this is that Paul is not doing things out of concern for what people think of him, but rather out of concern for their well-being. "For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." (1Co 10:33 NIV).

What I'm learning is that as Christians, we do not have to be slaves to the offended. We do not have to submit to manipulation and control. We must only be motivated by love, not by fear of judgment. Hebrews 4:13 says, "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." It is God to whom we are accountable, not man. This is good news because God's judgment of us was swallowed up in Christ's death and we are forever redeemed from sin. Mankind wants to carry out punishment. God sent Christ to take our punishment. When we accepted Him as our savior, we were made free from guilt and shame on the merit of Christ alone. The fact that I am accountable to God and not man is the best news I could hear. People can be so mean. But God is full of love for me, and pours out His mercy day after day. What a good God!

1 Corinthians 7:23 says, "You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings." What this means is that we can use our freedom to act or not to act out of the love that God has poured into our hearts. We can do in our own freedom, or not do, in order to help our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ be the best they can be. But we need never be afraid of judging eyes. We must only walk in the love that Christ has filled us with.

This is something I have been desperately needing to hear. All those years, living in fear. Now I am free.

This is good news, indeed.

Brown Eyed, Blue Eyed Experiment

This woman has found a way to de-familiarize us with to the idea of racism. Not only is the concept thought-provoking, but the reaction of the kids teaches us volumes about the natural psychological effect it has on those who suffer it. This only shows us how utterly ridiculous it is to judge a person strictly by race. There's nothing I can say that will communicate it better than this video does:



You can watch the whole documentary here. Let's make the world a better place!