Don't Feel Sorry for Me (Why I am Still Vegan)

Photo by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦 on Unsplash

I've been a vegan for the past three years now. When people find out, they instinctively and immediately ask why. Or they tell me why it's not a good idea (because this person has a deficiency, or that person didn't do their research, or certain body types require certain foods, etc.). Or they justify why they aren't vegans because for some reason they feel like I'm trying to make them into one. Or they blow it off as a fad diet. "I could never do that. I like meat too much" is what a lot of people say. It's actually what I used to say. One of my friends often jokingly says, "I feel sorry for you." Sometimes he's genuine because he's trying to imagine what life would feel like without meat or cheese and concluding that it must be bleak...

Well, let me tell you, it's not! In fact, for me it's the opposite, eating meat and cheese made my life bleak... And therefore it doesn't take a ton of will-power for me to remain vegan. I'm more happy with my food culture than ever before...

So, let me paint the "before and after" picture for you. Summed up: before = lethargy and self-hatred. After = energetic and happy life. Haha! Okay, so now let me tell the story and get specific...

I thought I was just naturally a low-energy person. I thought I had allergies with constant sinus drainage. I thought I had a faulty digestive system because I had all kinds of problems (which lead to all kinds of uncomfortable situations), and rising levels of heartburn. I had this constant feeling of being bloated, which made me constantly aware of my belly, and therefore extremely self-conscious. I felt so ugly and gross, and couldn't look at myself. I bought unflattering clothes because I didn't pay attention to myself in the mirror and hated everything anyway... which then made me feel even worse when I saw myself wearing those clothes... (Mind you, I still had a reasonably medium-sized physique and worked out moderately). I didn't have much self-control when it came to food. I had this constant nagging feeling of hunger, while at the same time constantly feeling bloated and full. I felt fat and yet starving. And I would get almost rageful if I hadn't eaten in a few hours. I never knew when to stop eating, and would keep eating until I felt physical pain in my stomach. That eventually led to some actual damage to my body...

How we decided to become vegan in the first place was a combination of the desire to be healthy, some netflix documentaries which piqued our interest, and then the research which confirmed to us that this was the most healthy way to eat... So when we finally made a decision to go for it, we were living in Minneapolis about to move out of our apartment heading back to Michigan, and Dustin's dad was coming to visit to spend some quality time and help us pack. So we decided to eat vegan for two weeks, and reward ourselves by taking Dad out for some really juicy cheeseburgers when he arrived.

Within those 2 weeks of eating a whole food, plant-based vegan diet, I felt like an entirely new person, and several of those issues I mentioned above were gone! I had twice as much energy, no sinus issues, no heartburn, no bloating, and a lot less hunger in general. Then I ate a cheeseburger with Dustin and his dad and those benefits went away. After realizing what burgers do to my body, I decided to keep going with this diet.

Then, right before we left (a week later), a friend of ours gave us a Christmas present, which was a massive basket of cheese. That's because Dustin was a cheese-lover and we always told everyone how much he loved cheese. Well, now after giving it up, we had the biggest amount of cheese we've ever had in our fridge at one time: 17 different fine cheeses, several varieties of crackers, and a few sausages (it was a really expensive and generous gift, I might add). Of course, we let ourselves indulge--and again, I felt the bloating, the sinus problems, and constipation... So we decided to save a few of our favorites and share the rest with friends and family.

Fast forward a month and a half. I hadn't eaten cheese in four weeks. Suddenly I went through a week of cheese withdrawals. I felt shaky and craved cheese like an addict. No other food was satisfying enough, but I knew what cheese did to me, so I avoided it like the plague, and ate probably too much food that week. But it was whole foods, and so even when I would stuff my face, the stuffed feeling was gone within an hour. And there was never pain. Once I got over that week, I no longer had cheese cravings.

In fact, I noticed that I didn't even have meat cravings. I stopped craving bad foods. So I wasn't lamenting or missing the foods I couldn't eat. Plus I knew that if I really wanted them, I would allow myself to eat them. But that desire wasn't there. I also noticed that I didn't feel "hangry" all the time (we used to call it "eat-monster"). And, I didn't have that constant feeling of being both full and hungry at the same time. And when I was full, I could actually stop eating. I suddenly had self control, and I didn't go through any regiment of self-discipline or starving myself, or even portion control. I only changed the content of my meals (which I suppose is the part that takes effort).

But listen, I found recipes and made meals that were substantial, tasty, and filling. I didn't just relegate myself to salads. Plus, Dustin really did his homework, and we followed some doctors and vegans who have been doing this for most of their lives and have made it without deficiencies or health problems. So that was why I enjoyed the meals I was eating.

Being vegan even led me to have more body positivity before I lost weight. Because the bloating was gone, I was no longer feeling my stomach all the time, so I was able to stop obsessing about how fat I felt. And over time it led to a general feeling of liking my body again, which has also helped me buy flattering clothes. Honestly, my wieght hasn't changed too much (although I went down some pant sizes, woohoo!)

And I hesitate to mention this, but it's so real: I didn't realize that half my life was spent on the toilet. I now spend a tiny fraction of that time in the bathroom, and am way more comfortable going to friends' houses, and even spending overnight trips.

So, it's true. There are some drawbacks to eating vegan. It does limit my options at restaurants and various food-provided situations. It can be awkward for others who want to cook for us and accommodate our diets but have no idea what to make. We actually feel negative results when we indulge in meat or cheese (which reinforces our desire to stay vegan). So that means I don't have the same joy as I used to when trying new exotic foods, even though I allow myself to do it: I know it's gonna kick me in the gut later. I even feel anxiety when I think about eating ice cream or gelato or yogurt. So I save my indulgences for times when it's really worth it.

And I haven't even mentioned Dustin's own story of how his life changed. The guy dropped 40 lbs (around 20 kilos) in the first 4 months and basically saved his liver from disease... And none of that time did he feel starved or deprived. He's as enthusiastic about it as I am, if not more!

For me the joys of eating vegan massively outweigh the joys of eating animal products. I genuinely mean that. And, listen, I haven't been perfect, and I'm not strict about it. But my dietary choices actually cause me to enjoy life more. So don't feel sorry for me. I will probably be a vegan for life.

[check out my Vegan Starter Pack here. I compiled some recipes and even a shopping list to make it easy on friends and family who want to try it, since a lot of people now ask me for advice about it. I'm working on a part 2 'cause I've found so many more goodies since then!]