A couple of days ago, a friend said, "It's good to know
who's on our side," in reference to politics. Of course, that was just a
passing comment, and I didn't take it too deeply or seriously in the moment.
But it came back to my mind later, because if I’m honest, it’s a triggering
statement for me. It’s a statement I heard in the religious cult
environment I came out of. I suffered a lot in this environment, and have spent
a lot of years contemplating this kind of thinking. And through my years of contemplation, I have concluded that
Talk is cheap. Anyone can preach about a cause. Sermons--even political ones--are a dime a dozen. Posts on the internet are even cheaper. Harp all you want. "Speak out" all you want. But what are you physically doing to further your cause? Because if you're not doing anything about it, it's just talk. Hypocrisy, really. And just because someone said they voted for someone, did they, really? You will never know.
Venting on social media has become an acceptable a form of activism, but it's an illusion. You speak your words, and then you feel some sense of accomplishment, like you've done something about the issues you're concerned about, and that catharsis prevents you from real action. Or worse, you've sabotaged your own cause. What usually happens when you vent on social media is, you make the "other side" angry, and they defensively cling even harder to their own ways of thinking. Haphazardly venting on social media simply strengthens your opposition, that is, if you haven't already unfriended all opposition. If you don't even have people in your spheres with differing opinions, then you're really accomplishing nothing, except for catharsis, which, I suppose has some value. You're "preaching to the choir," and you're very free to do so if it helps you get through the day...
As someone who grew up in church culture, where morality and
virtues were often the main theme, I have learned first-hand that when a person
says they uphold certain values (what one might call, "virtue-signaling”),
it does not mean that person actually upholds that virtue in practice. At least they
"want" to uphold it. At worst, people can use this talk to hide in
plain sight. And two types of those people come to mind.
First, you have cowards: those who are simply terrified of rejection and will say or do
anything to fit in. They likely don’t care about these values at all, and don’t
do anything to actually further the cause. When it comes down to it, they fold
under pressure and will betray their “values” to conform to the majority. They are liable to betray you or abandon you when you need
their support the most.
Second, you have predators: those who have learned to say all the right words in order to
prey on the innocent. In fact, it's because of these people that I am most
suspicious of those who loudly and boldly virtue-signal. Either they are truly
passionate about this thing... or this is the very thing they lack the most and are trying to fool their peers. They will attempt
to enslave you in one way or another.
This is also how I feel about the recent blue bracelet idea. If you don't know, it has to do with
people feeling unsafe since the results of the election. If you’re wearing this
bracelet, you’re identifying yourself as a “safe” person to reassure others. Of course, all kinds of people feel all kinds of ways about it. It honestly sounds like a joke to me: that you would trust a stranger based on
what they are wearing… Anyone can wear a bracelet and identify themselves as
safe. Furthermore, if you’re wearing that bracelet, you’re also
signaling to others that you are afraid and vulnerable, in need of the
shallowest sign of solidarity to make you feel safe. Yes, look, like you, I'm wearing the bracelet; come into my van where I keep the candy…
This is why volunteered self-identification tends to come across as
disingenuous to me, whether political or otherwise. When someone makes all
kinds of "this is who I am" statements without prompting, this is the first red flag to someone like me who
has been both emotionally and spiritually abused and abandoned by serial
virtue-signalers. That's what the abuser and the coward always start with,
"I'm a good person. I’m on your side. You can trust me..." in so many
words.
The people on your side are the ones who will be there when you're down, who will love you despite opposing views, who will stand up for you when others falsely accuse, who will fight for you when you can't fight for yourself, and who will not abandon you when you fail to fit their version of "good."
Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash
