... and neither is convenience...
If we look hard at several of our pop culture mores, the end goal is to make a person comfortable. And while that sounds nice and all, in many cases it's actually unhealthy. Comfort has to do with keeping things the way they are, and all change is uncomfortable. We have the older generation who wants the "good old days," which is romanticized because they are forgetting the hardships they faced. And we have the younger generation seeking validation for the way they feel inside--seeking to feel comfortable with themselves--which only prevents them from growing as people, because growth is also uncomfortable. Growth produces change. The way you feel inside as a kid should change as you grow. If it doesn't... you're not growing.
It sucks to have your whole worldview rocked. It is very uncomfortable to realize you've been wrong for part of your life. It's also very uncomfortable to realize the people you hate are right. It's also difficult to accept wisdom and knowledge from people who are problematic (just because you hate someone, doesn't mean they're always wrong). But it's only the people who are open to learning, growing, and progressing who embrace discomfort and actually grow. When you reach a status quo and stay there, you're in danger of stagnating. And that's very comfortable.
Anything worth doing or worth having requires a certain level of discomfort.
For some of us, it's harder than others. We've grown up in discomfort. We've lived in instability, in abuse and injustice for so long, all we want is just some sense of "normal." It's easy to take our experiences, make conclusions about them, and clamp down where we are. It's easy to stop forgiving. It's easy to stop trusting people, It's quite comfortable to become curmudgeons and start defining our world by the narrow circumstances we've experienced. It's tempting because we've had to be so malleable all our lives, we just need some stability. But that's the end of growth. That's the end of progress.
It's also uncomfortable to fight for things we want and need. It's uncomfortable to raise our voices to fight for ourselves. It's especially risky to fight for people we love and care about... It's easier to be passive, to let people go, judge them as hopeless, give up and move on. It's easy to keep everyone an arm's length away, and save our vulnerabilities for when we're alone in our own bed, swimming in our own thoughts... It's extremely uncomfortable to reach out and risk offending someone to tell them the truth.
This isn't a post to shame you for doing things that make your life more comfortable. Comfort isn't bad. We need it. It's just not a virtue. It shouldn't be upheld as one. This also is NOT meant to shame anyone for needing stability: that's a legitimate need. This is also NOT a post to shame people who have drawn healthy boundaries between themselves and people who are destructive. This is a post about stagnation; for those who are alone, tempted to cocoon deeper into yourselves and isolate. It's for those drowning out their problems with things which only delay dealing with them. It's for those who are spending all their free time on devices, subjecting themselves to the slow brain rot of distraction. This is for those who are about to give up on things that are worth fighting for because it hurts. STAND UP. Get uncomfortable. Face your fears and fight.
If we let our past keep us from growing, we stop making the world a better place. If we bunker down and reject everyone who thinks differently from us, or who disagrees with us, or who causes us problems, we aren't helping ourselves. And while we shouldn't be so open that we allow ourselves to be swayed by every crazy pop-culture idea, we also don't want to be closed off to actual good growth and progress.
The reality is, the majority of us will bunker down and live our lives the way we feel most comfortable.
Photo by Zhang Kenny on Unsplash
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