Is Suffering Good for Us?

I was in Philosophy class the other day while students were presenting their papers. One student presented Socrates' question to Euthyphro, "are things pious because the gods like them, or do the gods like them because they are pious?" In her words, are things good because God says they're good, or does he say things are good because they simply are good? I will not answer this specific question, but I will address what came up in the discussion.

She brought up the words of another philosopher (whose name I forget) who said that we as humans have no idea what good and evil is. Who are we to say that evil isn't good?

"That resonates with me because sometimes bad things happen to me, but it makes me a better person." One other student said. And everyone seemed to be in agreement with this conclusion.

In another class, a teacher of mine said that "pain is good for you." And everyone seemed to believe this as well.

But can you tell the girl who is a sex slave that her suffering is good? Can you tell the starving child that his suffering is good? Can you tell the crack addict that her suffering is good? And can you say that suffering always produces good character? I don't think so. I think pain makes us worse people. And some of us never heal from it.

In my opinion, only people who have Christ can say that suffering is good, because "Christ works all things for the good of those who love Him..." They have seen their pain bring good results (such as strength or better character) and instead of seeing God as the reason for those good results, they look at the pain or evil itself and call it good.

But I refuse to call evil good. I refuse to believe that suffering is good. I refuse to think that my suffering was necessary to make me a better person because not everyone who suffers turns out better. Others who have been through similar circumstances as me have not recovered, and have even left their faith. I credit God alone for the good results in my life. I cling to Him tightly. There are plenty in this world who have suffered and have never recovered.  They have delved deeper into drugs or alcohol. They have resorted to violence and theft. They have become renegades, searching for power. They have been driven by revenge. They have stopped trusting others... Are these things good? By no means! And can we say that evil or suffering makes us better? No. God, by His grace, makes us better. He is the only true good.

I understand that discipline is necessary to raise a child... But the spank itself is not a good thing, and the goal is to only spank as much as necessary, not to over-do it. It may be a necessary evil, but no evil is good. Evil is only sometimes necessary because human beings have a sinful nature, and sometimes punishment is required. But is it good? No. Pain may help us learn, but suffering is not good. Pain is not good. Evil is not good. And we don't always learn. Some of us circle the same mountains all our lives.

Another student in my philosophy class brought up the scenario of the thief who is stealing food for his starving family. Lets say the thief had no control over his loss of money and was strictly a victim of circumstance. The student struggled to determine whether or not this thief was justified in his actions. And so did the rest of the class. And when I said, "No. He's not justified," I seemed like a calloused jerk. But calling things what they are is important. If I were facing the man, I would not judge him, nor condemn him (I'm not speaking civil law, here, I am strictly speaking in social context). However, I will never rationalize his actions as good. Yes, it is easier to have compassion for this man because it is a good thing to provide for a family, and his determination to do so is noble. But the end never justifies the means. And my goal would be to help him so he does not have to steal in order to survive.

In no case is theft justified. What about if he stole from someone who was filthy rich and wouldn't miss what was stolen? I don't think so. Robin Hood will never be justified in stealing. Shall we grant him mercy? Perhaps. Extent understanding? Sure. Have compassion? Of course. But lets not call any of these things good based on unique circumstances. Stealing is stealing. Sin is sin. Evil is evil.

Now, having said this, I must clarify that I am not one to go looking for sin in others. I am not one to go digging it up or pointing it out. I am not one to cast judgment on people for sinning, and I often tell people, "you don't need to justify yourself to me." I am not one to even focus on the sin at all (except in the case of injustice). If you've read my blog you know that I'm always ranting about how unhealthy it is to be so focused on sin. Too many pastors make a living out of it, and too many Christians think its their duty. If I were talking to the thief, I'd tell him that he is not defined by his actions and that we should stop identifying him as a thief, but rather a man. So this discussion is not one I have with people often. And so it may sound like I'm casting judgment on a person by saying sin is sin, but I'm not. If we're going to abstract ideals and talk about them and make conclusions about them, I'm not going to rationalize things falsely.

The fact that I am stronger or more patient after the evil I've been through does not make the evil a good thing. Strength and patience are gifts from a God who has turned all that which was meant for evil into that which is good. I owe it all to Him. And I appreciate Him all the more because I can learn from my mistakes. But I refuse to say that my own mistakes were necessary. I refuse to accept that what happened to me was good. I will not thank God for the suffering, only the good that He brought about from it. Perhaps I have a wrong attitude.

Sometimes we think we've learned something, but really, we've only made conclusions that are unhealthy; conclusion such as, "I'll never trust another man." Or, "All people who drink alcohol are alcoholics and should be avoided." Or, "All leaders will cause me suffering." Or, "I am not worthy of love." These are a few of the many things I myself have had to work through. They are false beliefs that I would have kept with me had I not had the guidance of wise God-fearing people, and the reassurance of the Holy Spirit to trust again. I'm no different than the next person. Without God, I'd be fearful, alone, depressed, and angry.

With all that said, I cannot and will not say that evil is good, or that suffering makes us better. Only God is good, and only God makes us better. I will only give credit where it is due. 

I will conclude with these scriptures:

"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone." (Mark 10:18 NIV)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 NIV)

A Response to Barnabas Piper on Race

Earlier a friend of mine posted this article on facebook:

"Why White People Don't Like To Talk About Race" by Barnabas Piper

This blog is a response to this article.

Let me first say that it's good he is trying to speak out and be a part of the conversation and is doing so with intent to bring understanding. I respect him for that. But I also find his view narrow and even misleading. He is accusing white people who don't want to talk about racism as either outright racist or subtly prejudiced. That may be so in some cases, but I beg to differ.

Let me bring some clarity to why I--and many of my friends--have not wanted to talk about racism, or why the responses have been... well, poorly informed. (Obviously my view has changed now, but I will admit, I was one of these, which is why I understand it).

The thing is, most of us were taught in school that racism is over. We were taught about the abolition and Martin Luther King Jr. And civil rights... We actually were taught to look at each other as equals. And we do. So when black people talk about racism, those in my generation who don't face it simply don't know what everyone is talking about. "Why are you talking as though we're not equals? That's racist." This is the first thought. A lot of white people think they are being accused of what their ancestors did to Africans. They think black people are just digging up the past. The knee-jerk reaction is offense because they don't think it's fair to be accused of being racist for what their ancestors did or for what other racist people are doing... because they are not racist. They don't even think of black people as any less than equals. 

But they also don't know that the system still works against black people. It is ignorance, but it's not prejudice. It is the lack of knowledge of what's going on today. Some of my friends actually don't believe there is such a thing as systemic racism. They think its existence is something to debate about.

Many in our generation suffer from willful ignorance in almost every way. They don't want to know where their food comes from, they don't want to hear about the damage we are doing to the environment, they don't want to know about the harmful chemicals in city water, they don't want to know about the ocean being depleted, they don't understand how their government works, and they know little about politics... It's not something that white people have against black people, they don't know what's going on in the world except for what they see on Facebook and the insanely biased news stories from CNN. It's the American lifestyle of willful ignorance. Racism is yet another thing ignored. (not everyone falls into this category, but a great majority do).

And those who are racist don't believe in systemic racism either. This is mostly the older generation. Take mortgages, for example. They were set up to keep certain people from getting into certain areas, which resulted in non-white races being stuck in low-income zones. White people (not all, but some) see that and think its because of a lower standard of living, or a lack of responsibility that caused it. I have older friends who honestly believe black people just have no self-respect because they see a trend in how badly run down their neighborhoods are. They have no idea that it was set up that way by white people. And so it's difficult for them to understand the problem. To them, this talk about racism sounds like a bunch of irresponsible people trying to get hand-outs from the government (in some cases that is true). And they see all those you tube videos of those women who are telling people how they got more money by having another child... It reinforces their racist thinking. Not that they are justified in their thinking. But Piper makes it seem like it comes from an inherent desire to be the only race... That's just not true. It's more complicated than that.

The rest of this blog is addressing the issue in general, not the above article...
 
Ignorance is one thing... But speaking out on a subject in ignorance is a big problem. It only adds hurt. This Ferguson case brought to light much of the feelings that black people have, and on Facebook, so many are just railing in defense. White people are getting frustrated because they don't want to be accused of something they didn't do, and they don't want to take on guilt, saying things like, "Why is it that every time a white on black crime happens, it has to be about race?" and being defensive and angry that people are making it into an issue that "isn't real". It's true that sometimes people make a mountain out of a molehill. But there is a trend. Let's look at the trend and admit that there is something deeper going on here. Let's not be flippant and defensive.

It's easy to get defensive. I said in an earlier blog that I get frustrated when my friends ask, "Is it because I'm black?" when it has nothing to do with their race... but they've had to deal with racial disadvantage, it's no wonder they suspect it.

I'm not saying white people should feel guilt and go cry and feel ashamed. I'm simply saying, lets try to understand the situation rather than spout off stuff that is hurtful and reinforces the problem. Let's change our attitude. There is a people group that feels undervalued and is hurting. Let's not think that racism is over. Let's listen to those who feel they don't have a voice.

If a bully hurt a kid, and the kid cried about it, would you feel angry at the kid for crying? Not that black people are kids and white people are bullies, but when racist acts occur against black people, and black people cry out, and people respond with offense, isn't that the same thing? That's what all this ignorant ranting feels like to my friends who are black. It is adding insult to injury. I know my white friends who are ranting aren't racist, but it can sure feel like it to my black friends.

Let's know what we're talking about. Let's admit that there is a problem and let's listen to the hurting and broken people. Let's make this world a better place.

A Question For My Friends Who Are Black

[Warning: This is a discussion about racism. Please be understanding and gracious to me and please be sensitive to others when you comment. I am going to be vulnerable here, and I honestly want feedback.]

How can I, as a white person living in America be an encouragement to my friends who are black? This is an honest question.

Sometimes I feel like I can't win; that no matter what I say, I'll just be seen as racist because I'm white. There are a lot of things I'm not allowed to say as a white person and that makes me feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Am I even allowed to say the word black? Sometimes I even avoid that description. When I bring it up around others, I'm always afraid of what might come out. And when people bring it up around me, I usually try to change the subject because more than likely I'll say something that will be taken the wrong way.

It's like when people call you crazy... any attempt to deny it makes you look crazier.

I often hear my black friends say, "Is it because I'm black?" and that insults me because it makes me think they believe I'm that shallow... I'm treating them the same as all my other friends but that one question makes me feel trapped. Is it even possible to assure someone who thinks that way that I'm not even thinking about their race? I usually think, "Don't be ridiculous! Why would I treat you any different because of your skin color? Do you really think that poorly of me?" But I remind myself that the truth is most of them have dealt with people who do treat them differently because of their skin color. It's no wonder they tend to suspect that bad things happen to them because of their race. But often I forget that. I've never been denied a job, never been kicked out of an establishment, never been unnecessarily pulled over by a cop, or been accused of crime solely because of my skin color.

I imagine it probably feels something like being a woman in vocational ministry (for lack of better terms). In most churches I've experienced, I'm not taken seriously, I'm not allowed to be a member of the board, and I would never be considered for a head pastor position, if I'm passionate I'm seen as overly emotional, and when it comes to my appearance, there's a fine line between "slut" and "lovely". I'm considered able to be in charge of "women's" ministry (which comes with a lot of stereotyping and belittling connotations) or youth or children, and that's all. But I just love people, and I love the gospel. Why should I be confined or expected to fit a certain mold? And most men think that I'm being ungrateful or B8%@#y when I talk about these things. It's because they don't have to deal with it in their own lives. Not all of them treat women that way, so for them, it doesn't really exist.

And I must admit, I've had that same attitude towards black people when they start talking about racism. I don't treat people a certain way because of race, so for me it's ridiculous to even bring it up. I tend to mirror the people I'm around, but it's not a race thing, it's a personality thing. Yes, I have been judged because of my race. Yes I've been looked at with contempt for no real reason. Yes, I've been made fun of. Yes, I've been accused of being too white. I've been put down and treated differently because of my race. But it has never affected my ability to get ahead in life, and so when others complain about the same things, I think to myself, "get over it." But that doesn't help. It only hurts. It only makes people feel like I don't actually care about what they're going through. I don't want to be that person.

I'm talking about this because I had a conversation in class yesterday about systemic racism and how a lot of the ways our economy was originally set up was to ensure that black people would be at a disadvantage. This systemic racism still exists, though not proactively as a whole. A lot of people like to act like we are way past racism, like we've already dealt with it. But there's a lot of left-over residue from the past, and it hasn't completely died. In our discussion, we asked ourselves, "Should we attempt to be a part of the conversation? And if so, what is the best way to go about it?" We discussed how difficult it is to talk about it as white Americans, and how sad and heavy it makes us feel to see the hatred and flippant dismissal of current issues (Ferguson) all over social media.

We never came up with a solid answer (though a student did suggest blogging, hence this post). And so I return to my original question: how can I as a white person be an encouragement to a black person, especially in times like these when tensions are high in many places? In what ways have I been insensitive (or in what ways are white people commonly insensitive) to the issue? Is there something I should do, or stop doing? I genuinely want to know.