Christmas Eve Overlooking Jesus' Hometown!

Last week our apartment flooded... I mean, really flooded. It basically was a monsoon and our upstairs balconies filled up with water (because the drains were clogged with debris) which spilled into our rooms, and seeped through our walls and down into our living room soaking into our shag carpet (and luckily missing our bedroom). So for the past week it's been a battle trying to get our apartment to feel like home. We used up all our towels drying things, and because we don't have a dryer, we had to hang dry them... except our apartment was humid... so they weren't drying. Then there was mold, and we had to do laundry at friends' houses.

But our apartment doesn't heat very well. and so we've been so cold, and wet, like living in a cave. And I've been laying in bed at night all tensed up... 

Finally on Friday we had a semi warm-ish dry-ish day, so we opened up the windows and sliding doors, and got out the bleach and cleaned everything. And then we bought this baby:

It's not a real fire... But this thing heats up the room like a charm, and fast too! Mainly, it made us feel warm and cozy. I never thought I would appreciate a fake fire. We put it in our bedroom and I slept like a baby (finally!). 

So this Christmas Eve Day, we started off eating our breakfast and tea in front of the "fire". That was the nicest thing we have done at home in weeks!

Then we finished wrapping all our presents. I didn't have all the ribbons and bows as I usually do, so I made tissue paper flowers and made ribbon out of the wrapping paper.

Look at the poinsettia coasters my mom-in-law, Sharon, made for us! We put them in the photo to make it look pretty.

And we headed out to the old city to do some last-minute Christmas shopping because nothing else was open since it's Shabbat. But it was so fun going there on Christmas Eve because they have a Christmas market there, and I really had no idea what to expect. 

I had to chuckle at the tourists on segues.

On the way to the Old City, we saw a huge group of soldiers walking

We tried a traditional Arabic hot winter drink called "Sahlab," which is made from rose water, milk, and starch (making it super thick). They add crushed walnuts, coconut, and cinnamon. It reminds me of eggnog.

Jaffa Gate

Christmas Market (a lot of shops closed for Shabbat)

Finally a selfie for you guys. ;) Looking at the Old City. It's only cloudy in Jerusalem for a short time, so this overcast sky is great!

Then we headed home so a quick bite to eat and were picked up by our friends Tom and Rachel and headed to Ramat Rahel hills overlooking Bethlehem for some evening caroling. It was seriously magical. I was singing about Christs birth while looking at the city in which he was born. It became so real to me. Plus, I got to sing on mic with Becky and Ann Hilsden, which made my evening even more special (reminded me of singing with my sisters back in the day). As it got dark, we saw one star above the city... which may not have been "the star" that the magi followed, but it still was insanely special for me. I'm not much of a romantic, but I was able to take a moment and acknowledge how glad I am that Jesus was born on earth. I could have cried with warm fuzzies. His life on Earth--His sacrifice--is the source of all my joy. I could not be more happy that He existed as a human. Because of Him, I can live free of guilt or shame or regret. Boy am I happy that He came to Earth. *sigh* I am filled with Christmas spirit more than ever before! Haha. Here are the pictures:

a lot of rocks and pine. ;)

Look at the star! This is overlooking Bethlehem!

Friends by the fire.

Dustin took this amazing photo

Singing buddy, Becky

Our friend Carl.

Me and Rachael. I love her awesome new hairdo!

You can see a star in this photo.

Don't we blend well? haha

Singing buddy, Ann.

Merry Christmas from Bethlehem!

Tomorrow we are going to have dinner with our friends, Daniel and Jalene and open all the gifts! I'm so excited.

This Christmas Eve was truly amazing. And we are so blessed to be able to celebrate with friends we truly love. But we definitely long for our family this holiday season. In the Old Testament, basically every celebration God instituted was a family affair, and we know that loving our fellow human is a way of loving our God. What better way to celebrate His birthday than to express our love through giving gifts to our friends and families? Once again, we were reminded that it's not about where you are or what you do, but who you're with. 

... I do suggest coming to Bethlehem to celebrate Jesus's birth (or in Hebrew, Yeshua) where He was born at least once in your life. There is nothing quite like it!

Stream of Thought for the Day

I'm sitting in my bedroom in the dark with the window open listening to the sounds of the city; loud Middle Eastern male voices singing in semitones echoing from somewhere far, police car sirens, car horns... Dustin is in the other room learning how to see those 3D stereoscopic images that were popular when I was in middle school. He's apparently never seen the hidden pictures. It's like he's a big kid finally figuring out the trick (It's those pictures you have to cross your eyes to see the hidden image). He suddenly gasped and said, "I SEE IT! SUSAN! I FINALLY SAW IT! IT'S 3D!" Haha. What a cutie.

Today was the last day of the feasts, and there were crowds on my street around a group of men carrying giant ornate golden cylinders (probably cases containing the Torah scrolls) above their heads, jumping and dancing in a circle, and chanting. There was hardly any room to squeeze by. I was just leaving to enjoy the day out with the Gepperts. I always love talking to Jalene and hearing her talk about her life in the animated way she does, and watching Daniel make jokes with Dustin. The Gepperts are precious people. We walked through the old city and then finished the day with ice cream in En Karem. They have some of the best parve ice cream I've ever had. It's so creamy, you'd never know it wasn't dairy. Ella was extra tired and cranky, and wanted to climb all the steps and pet all the dogs and cats and birds, and she tried hard to stick her head through all the iron rod fences. Then she crashed (as in fell asleep hard) in her stroller sitting up, which she has apparently never done. She was that tired. Ha. She's cute.

The last time I went with the Gepperts to the old city, they showed me a spice store which has revolutionized my life... never have I understood the joys of sumac or paprika... These spices are so vibrant! all the spices I've bought from other stores seem bland compared (and are pricier too!).

This month has seen many holidays. People set up "succas" (tents) in the streets and have been eating their dinners in them. The synagogue on my street has been full of life in the evenings, with men chanting and singing songs that remind me of fun bar choruses, and a lot of crying babies waiting around outside in strollers with their moms. My counselor told me that the synagogue is a noisy place, and I now understand.

This month has also been ugly in America. The election is bringing up two major issues to my mind: gender tropes, and authoritarianism. All the craziness and scandal aside, I can see so much sexism against Hillary in this election. And I see so much fear and hatred and slander. It's a circus of ugly. They should just shorten the drama by forcing elections to last three months, and only allow candidates to advertise their policies. And the news media is a joke these days. It's so slanted and biased and petty... And I'm so frustrated with my Facebook community for perpetuating the worst kind of that news media. Slander is the theme of the month. And good Christian people are taking part in it with enthusiasm. Apparently celebrities are exempt from the scriptures that tell us not to slander our neighbors...

And yet, America still stands as a beacon of light to me: my home, the place I feel welcome, where my family lives, where life is convenient, and where women can be leaders... I thought America was behind the times in terms of progress for women's rights. I'm realizing it's among the more progressive countries on earth.

I'm enjoying a now moment. Most of the time my mind is on the next project or next thing because I'm afraid I'll revert to my forgetful self if I let go of these tasks. I'm afraid I'll fail to complete things in a timely manner. But I'm desperate to live in a state of peace. I have a deep well of peace from which to drink, and yet I often--instead of drinking--circle it, trying to mentally hold in queue all the tasks of the upcoming week. Even though I've had some time off, I've been taking on some extra responsibilities during the holiday season with all of the regular people away. But tonight, I am giving my mind some space.

I just figured out that the music echoing is a nearby concert. The dude is playing a clarinet. I heard the crowd whistling and cheering. Sounds fun! Luckily my window is very soundproof.

What Makes Me Happy - Lessons Learned

All my life, my dream has been to travel the world.

Now that I've taken the first big step by actually committing to several years in a foreign country, I have realized some things.  I spent a lot of time believing that this kind of life change would be the key to my happiness. This is what I've always dreamed of doing! I kept thinking, "Everything will be better when I move overseas," or, "I won't have this problem when..." And yes, so many things have changed in my life for the better. Moving to Israel has brought a great deal of personal satisfaction. But, this move across the world has not fulfilled me the way I thought it would.

I still feel generally the same as I felt in other situations in life. I am still the same person who struggles with being on time, and tends to put off my personal needs for the sake of my job or friends. I still want to do it all and take on too many things at once. I still struggle with similar stresses and still find myself in similar circumstances.

We can spend a lot of time believing that the next life change is the key to our happiness; whether it be a change of location, or a new relationship. We can spend a lot of time thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. And sure! There are a lot of new and fantastic things to be experienced in this life. And we should pursue better, especially if we're in oppressive situations. But long-term, true happiness is not something that we can obtain from our circumstances or from the people around us... or even from our work! If that's what we look to for lasting happiness (or joy as some would prefer to define it), then we'll always be disappointed. When we look to these things, we'll always feel that void--the tick that makes us fill our bellies too much with food, or work too late in the night, spend too much money on things, self-medicate, overspend, overreact, over-consume... These things fade, and after a while we find ourselves once again longing for the next change; we fantasize about the next place to travel or some new and dreamy romantic interest, and we convince ourselves this is what we need to feel fulfilled.

It's not.

I'm literally living my dreams--married to the sweetest loving husband, and doing the things I've always said I wanted to do, and I'm even eating healthier and feeling more energy, and I have a better attitude in general.--and yet I still feel generally the same as I did before I arrived here. I'm utterly grateful for my life today, and yet, I'm still tempted to think that the next new life change will complete me. Am I crazy?

So, what is the key to my happiness?

It's Christ. I'm serious. I mean that with all my heart. There is literally nothing that fulfills me except Him. And when I spend time with Him, when I meditate on who He is, all of my other joys become more vibrant: I love my husband more deeply, I find my time with loved ones to be more meaningful, I find more inspiration for my music, I find my hobbies more satisfying. My heart is happy in Christ.

I remember reading Philippians 4:12, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (NIV) and wondering what the secret was... What I realized is that there's no secret I must find out in order to be content, the secret is literally being content in every situation. And Christ Himself is my contentment. He's everything.

Let us drink deeply from the never-ending happy well-spring of life that is Jesus Christ, Yeshua Messiah, the one whose death secured our place with Him in heaven.

Psalms 37:4 (NIV) Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Thoughts on God's Omnipotence

So, today I was looking up definitions of omnipotence, and I (well, Dustin) came across this one from Wikia.com, a website for fictional fandom (comics, TV shows, The Marvel universe, etc):

Omnipotence (from Latin: Omni Potens: "all power") is the ability to be almighty in every sense and aspect. The user can achieve and do absolutely anything without any limit or condition, including the conceptually impossible and logically impossible, like "bigger than infinity" or "making a squared circle". Its one and only wielder (there can be only one in each fictional continuity, hence the "Above All") is fundamentally invincible, completely immune to all other powers, and able to defeat the combined might of all creation and its mightiest beings just by wanting it, without the slightest effort.

I like this definition.

So, following this logic, I was thinking about God’s omnipotence, and realizing that any being I have seen in fiction that has been “all powerful,” has always been a super-villain—someone to be feared. And yet, the being whom we believe in—the actual Omnipotent One—is love incarnate. The only one who actually does have power greater than the sum of the universe is… love. And therefore it can be said that since God is love, then Love is the greatest power. Love is a person. Hate destroys people and traps them in oppression and pain. Love, however, builds people up and brings them to their fullest potential.

God is love, and therefore cannot do anything apart from love. His attributes are not separate entities.

I feel like someone very comic-book-savvy is going to correct me here by showing me some character I don’t know about—and there are plenty I don’t know about. But I’m guessing that character is at best neutral and unpredictable, but not the embodiment of love itself…

God is also omnipresent… so the all-powerful one (who could destroy the entire universe with a word) is present in all places at all times. He is continuously accessible to each of us. And He chooses to love, to build us up, to work all things for our good.

When we think about His power, we are tempted to try to use it for our gain by praying for things we want. And if He doesn’t deliver, we are also tempted to think He is not as powerful as He says He is. But remember He is not our slave, and He makes His own choices. We therefore must trust His ultimate wisdom in the choices that He makes concerning us (because, after-all, He is all-knowing).

The omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent one is love incarnate. Isn’t that awesome?

Memebusters: All Lives Matter

I'm bringing this up again because people are still talking about it. I'm speaking to Americans here.

This isn't true. Everyone batted an eye. People lost their mind. That's why #AllLivesMatter became a thing: because people were offended by the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag. Let's not act like #AllLivesMatter is the right response. #AllLivesMatter IS the metaphorical batting of an eye to #BlackLivesMatter. That statement did not come into existence as a popular hashtag until people saw the first one.

We live in a world where everyone tries to say a lot with few words. They want you to get the impression at the first glance. There's no clarification, and there's no given context for most of what we see or read on the internet. Social media has created a phenomenon called "context collapse." Once you put something out there, it can be seen by anyone, and you have no idea who they are, how they are using it, or what culture they will filter the information through. So, when we see something, we instantly add our own context and fill in the gaps with our own perspective. When a white person sees #BlackLivesMatter, it implies exclusion, because he or she is not black, and even implies racism, because he or she does not understand the context in which the statement began. And so, naturally, #AllLivesMAtter seems like the appropriate response. But when you put it back into context, it is an insult. And it's pure ignorance.

This is the context:

A people group in our country made a statement to uplift themselves and add value to a culture who hates their own skin--who struggles with self-destruction--and the rest of us acted like it was an insult. So we created a response that negated it. Our ignorant retort became a gag in the mouths of those crying out.

That is why people say that the statement "All Lives Matter" is racist. Your motivation may not be racist. But in this context, it becomes a statement to negate the fact that black lives do matter.

We don't say "all lives matter" because we actually think all lives matter. We say it because WE want to matter. And that's the same reason people said "black lives matter" in the first place.

No matter how you mean it, this is how you come across to the people who understand the issues.

Israel Update #5: New Developments

I haven't been active on social media in the last three weeks or so because a lot has happened, and my husband and I have been working non-stop! This post may be a bit long...

First we were trying to get our place ready for Max's visit! We were so excited to have a friend come and we wanted him to be comfortable. So we spent time measuring our house and planning out how we wanted to use the space and what we wanted to buy. Then there was the time we spent measuring furniture at Ikea, buying beds, and searching in many local stores for various home goods (like I said before, shopping here takes exponentially longer and requires much more effort! I could write pages about the process...).

By the time Max arrived last Saturday night, we really only had the upstairs in decent shape for comfort: his bed built and bedding washed and set up, and the bathroom cleaned with all the needed toiletries (and our bed fully set up). Did I mention our apartment has two levels? I love it. We finally bought a can of Raid and attacked the ant community that was taking siege of our upstairs floor. It worked wonders. I haven't seen a single ant in an entire two weeks! It was only yesterday that I saw a small brigade under my nightstand and a bit of raid did the trick!

Our living room is still empty, and we only just today removed some of the dismantled furniture that came with the place (shelving that takes up too much space, a bed frame that is impractical for our purposes, and an unsightly cabinet).

Because our space is small, we can't just go and get any couch. The size and shape is important. So we've played around with some different options that we have found at various stores. That's next on our list of needed big purchases (among other things). I felt like a spoiled American when I talked to my friend about the square meter-age of our place. He has a wife and two kids and lives in a 55 square meter apartment, while my husband and I live in a place that is at least 65 square meters. First world problems, right?

Potential new couch for our living room.

And that's just what's been happening at home! We work at King of Kings Community, and some major changes have happened in the prayer tower. Three Thursdays ago, we were brought into a meeting and left that same meeting with a new interim director and a whole lot more responsibility. We spent a week meeting and preparing for renovations that occurred the next week, and then another week reassigning watch leaders to a new formatted watch schedule (this is still in the process. Also, we call our two-hour prayer slots "prayer watches") and reassessing how the entire prayer tower ministry needs to adjust to fit the goals our leadership has for it. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I believe about prayer.

The last director was promoted to different areas of ministry without a transition period. His partner had to step down because of extenuating circumstances that required him to be at home. Ideally, one would give a period of at least a 2 months to hand things off and train new people. In this case, things had to happen fast because of the fact that the new interim director only has three more months on her visa left to train a whole new team in that span of time. By the end of that period, a new permanent director will be chosen. Until then, five of us are reformatting everything from maintenance, to budget, to fundraising, to vision, to structure of prayer "watches." This all has been a bit shocking and overwhelming to the people involved, especially to the ones who were close to the leaders who moved on.

Because I am new, and not as emotionally attached to the place and people yet, it has mostly been a stimulating challenge. With my past experience training leaders, I've kept myself sensitive to the new team dynamics, being careful to establish relationships well, and bringing up the small issues that I see now so they don't grow into major future problems. I've learned the hard way that when I don't listen to my instincts and bring them up when they're small, I always regret it later. I have to say though, that I have been so pleasantly surprised by the quality of the people I work with. How they handle situations with grace and respect, how they have such maturity, how they have such a deep understanding of the word, and how they display humility where most people display hard pride... This has been a major blessing to me.

And to the larger group, I have to admit I underestimated everyone. With these kinds of jarring leadership shifts, I expected dramatic fall-out, gossip, and disappointed deserters... but I've only seen excitement, grace, and a capacity for kindness in situations I really expected to be awkward.

I am also doing my best to be aware of people's energy levels. The last time I worked on such a strong ministry team, we all expected too much of each other and created a burn-out culture in which people worked too hard and spent no time resting when they needed it. And because we were all drained and in need, we judged those who weren't working as hard as "less dedicated," which made people feel guilt when they did get a chance to rest. This is not a godly way of doing things. You can't take care of others when you yourself are already spent. We are to "love others as we love ourselves." I'll be the first person to push someone into rest because I know how devastating it can be to burn out.

It turns out, I work with some very dedicated people, whom I've really tried to push into rest... But I can tell you, it's a challenge to keep that empathetic attitude--even after all I've been through--when I myself am working too hard. For a good week this month, I was putting in 13-hour days. I had to fight the urge to feel angry at others who were protecting their rest and not helping me. I was able to resist it! Haha. And the crazy hours are behind me. We knew that if we put in the long hours in the beginning, we'd be able to begin a stable, sustainable schedule much sooner. This is just the nature of new beginnings. Next week, things will start settling down.

During those 13-hour days, we had to get our paint clothes on and do some good 'ole manual labor to spruce up the place. It seemed appropriate to make external changes in the process. We are still proceeding with ongoing renovations, but we will now pace ourselves in order to keep the place (and ourselves) operational.

I am happy to say that during this high-stress time, I've made it a priority to schedule times to work on my novel. One of my friends, Rachel, is also working on a novel, and we've begun meeting once a week to work on our writing. This is a huge joy to me. We go to a new cafe every week, and spend a little time talking and a lot of time writing. This has really helped me through the stress and different emotional build-ups from the all-consuming work. My writing is one part creative release, and one part emotional catharsis. And because my story deals with circumstances I've gone through, it has also helped me process through some different unresolved emotions, and thus I am able to deal with them personally and move past them into growth. I am glad we started this! It is definitely one of the highlights of my week! And I'm making major progress on the story itself.

So, Max came for a week and left (he was our first house guest! It was great to be able to explore the sights with someone from home!), our entire roles changed, and we moved offices. All of that while still learning how to get along in a new country has been a challenge (I'm really summing this up, here). I'm re-learning how to operate in such conditions with people I really feel I can trust, and while making intentional strides to take care of my needs. I haven't yet done it all perfectly, but I'm seeing progress, and that is encouraging.

Enjoy this slew of pictures from out travels with Max!

The two men in the dead sea.

View of the Galilee from the Mount of Beatitudes

Church of the Beatitudes. Apparently this hill is where Jesus gave his famous beatitudes speech.

Token "Sea Level" photo

Max thought this was so hilarious: the scripture about drinking the living water and never thirsting again, next to a spring with a sign that says "water not for drink"

Dustin and Max on the bank of the Galilee.

Dustin and Max at the synagogue in Capernaum.

Max next to the statue of Saint Paul in Capernaum (which is located on the sea of Galilee).

Very detailed mosaic floors in the church near Capernaum.

Old and new Mosaic together.

Max enjoyed seeing the various churches.

The "Indian" restaurant called Taj Mahal we ate at after a long day at the Dead Sea (they served Mediterranean food and nothing close to Indian cuisine. I was a bit disappointed, but I enjoyed the unique atmosphere. We ate sitting on cushions on the floor).

More of the restaurant. Check out the odd mannequin... 

Imagine seeing this view from your window! Look at how small that road is! (view from Masada)

View from Masada.

Some of the interior was preserved here. Very interesting.

The cable cars we rode up on (because it was too hot to hike!)

I am the worst at selfies...

Masada is a site of the ruins of Herod's fortress city. It sits at the top of these cliffs bordering the Dead Sea. The sheer scale of it is incredible. 

By this time, we were a bit sun-stroked...

More Masada.

Me at the restaurant.

Token camel on the way to the Dead sea. Local Bedouins sell camel rides... But in this heat, the last thing I wanted to do was ride on the camel!

And here's some more random photos I've been meaning to post!

The cutest photo of Baby Ella!

My writing pal, Rachel!

Jalene and Ella

View of the sunset from the Prayer Tower

Random street performer on a melodica! Do you recognize the song?