Prioritize Family

"Nobody want to see us together, but it don't matter, no, 'cause I got you."  That's the chorus of a song called, "Don't Matter" by Akon.  It's pretty catchy.  I hate it.

Here's the thing: if your family can't stand the person you're dating, take that as a warning.  If he or she is repelling the people who unconditionally love you, don't assume marriage will change that.  You're family will be forced to "tolerate" that character, and it will keep them from being around you.  And if you've unknowingly picked the abuser, or the cheater, or the manipulator, or the drug addict, or the criminal, he or she could eventually ruin your life and the lives of your children.  And if you've been ruined, what is you get a divorce.  And if you divorce, who will you turn to?  Your family.

Alas, you were too consumed to care about your family when you were devoting yourself to the one who wasn't worth your time to begin with.

I just think...What if I had married the man my parents disapproved of?  He made my sister feel awkward, but I didn't know it at the time.  It would have put a wedge between us.  Anne and I have been best friends our whole lives.  I would be devastated if she didn't want to spend time with me because my man made her uncomfortable.  Ugh.  Thank God I have Dustin.

In a way, my love affair with my work put distance between my family and me... And it hurt me a great deal.  I feel like I'm closing the gaps slowly.

(and yes, I know, sometimes the family disapproves for superficial reasons that don't matter, but that's something entirely different.  And then there's situations when family approves blindly because they don't know who the woman or man really is...  no one could blame themselves for that.  And God can always change things.  He is full of grace after all).

I guess I just wish people would consider what's important (not that I did when I was young... By God's grace it didn't work out).  Obviously, you have to make your own decisions, and your family's approval shouldn't be the only reason you decide to marry... but it is oh-so-important.  I don't see enough people making it important.  If your family matters to you, don't let a stranger come between them and you.  If you do, you'll regret it down the road.