When I moved to Jerusalem, and finally had a stocked kitchen, and went about cooking a proper meal the first time, I had this intense sensual experience with my food, like time itself had slowed down and flavors had new dimension. The green beans and asparagus, the purple cabbage, the giant carrots... The peppers, the tomatoes, the dates... the greens, the melons, the olives... not to mention the fruit... It was all just sensual from the moment you smelled the produce in the market, to the release of the aromas while cooking, to the eating of the food. I felt like one of those chefs in the movies, who would stand in the market and pick up the fruit just to get a giant whiff. I was a new vegan, and now I was cooking ultra healthy with vegetables in combinations that I never had before; tasting flavors I'd never tasted before. Then there were the fresh spices. I literally would stand at my counter and just smell my bottle of paprika because it was that good (in the US, to me, paprika was almost like a throwaway spice, mainly used for color, so I was amazed that it would become one of my favorite spices). I was having this awakening, so to speak. But I didn't fully understand what I was going through. I didn't really consider that every item of produce that I'd purchased simply had more intense flavor. Jerusalem produce just tastes better in general.
I felt a sensory deprivation when I moved back home, and once again, I didn't fully understand what I was experiencing. I lamented the shopping experience: the spices and things are all packaged neatly in glass and you can't smell the freshness of it before you buy it. I also lamented the lack of fresh spices. I found a solution: to simply buy them by the seed and start grinding them. But I didn't consider that I was experiencing an entire deprivation of flavor in general, and that even the produce that was in season just wasn't as good...
And, again, I still had hope because I thought it was just the tropical fruit... So instead of looking for mangoes, which were almost always disappointing, I would instead try peaches. Local organic Michigan fruit is a beautiful thing. But the peach harvest was destroyed by a frost when I moved back, so all the peaches were shipped in from Georgia, and the local fruit market closed because of corona. Neither of those things fully recovered before we moved away. And we couldn't afford to live on the expensive farmer's market prices. We had a few moments of intensity, but they were always short-lived. So, I didn't get to dive into the good flavors the local farms had to offer.
I simply lost the motivation to cook. I didn't fully understand why.
And here in Germany it's quite similar. Unless you're growing your own tomatoes, or buying expensive produce from a farmer's market, you are getting flavorless, lackluster fruits and vegetables, maybe with some exceptions. I never knew what I was missing out on until I lived in Israel. And I'm sure that people from tropical countries have had the same experience as me. No more juicy, mouth-watering papayas, mangoes, or citrus fruits... so you search for flavor elsewhere...
Meat and cheese have a lot of great flavor, and are the main flavor drivers in the West. I imagine people who move from tropical countries to Europe or North America give up on the produce and end up basically becoming enthusiastic carnivores in the pursuit of good flavor... The problem is, most Americans just eat really fatty, sugary, salty foods, blasted with artificial flavors. I can go to restaurants where I can't eat anything because every single item has dairy (I am lactose intolerant), or the non-dairy items are simply pitiful. Sometimes I'd rather eat a piece of cheesy pizza and suffer later, than eat a pitiful, wilting, bitter salad that's just as fattening because it's doused in oil, but leaves me hungry. No wonder so many Americans "hate" vegetables. Americans often think they're eating healthy when they simply are not, because of misinformation. Some people don't want to change their food habits because it's one of their few joys in life, but they don't realize it's actually the food they eat that is making them feel miserable... but that's another topic... I just can't go back to that way of life, because I hate constantly feeling lethargic and depressed. I love feeling energetic, ready for life, and generally in a good mood. I still indulge, but I do it strategically and a lot less often, because I now know I would rather be bored with food and happy with life than the other way around. Still, it's somewhat of a loss.
Here in Germany, skipping over their delectable meats and cheeses, which are already next level to me, some of the best flavors are found in their breads and cakes. Germans have become masters in this area. Their flour has a different protein and gluten ratio, so their baked goods are just... different. Their sandwiches only require one slice of meat and one slice of cheese, because the bread is really the star. You hardly need condiments in your sandwiches, because fresh bread has actual moisture content and flavor. It can be dense or light, but it's always heavenly. They actually eat plain bread as a meal sometimes (which I still don't do yet). You've never had a proper giant pretzel until you've had a German pretzel. Even the cheap bread you can buy at Aldi's here is just better than anything you would get at an average bakery in the States, like Panera, for example. And the cakes... the cakes! I've never liked cake growing up. But here, they are never too sweet, never too dry, always perfectly moist, and never so heavy as to make you feel gross or sick. Everyone bakes them at home too. The teens in my youth group--yes, even the boys--can bake delectable cakes I could eat every day. And friends of mine put really interesting liqueur flavors in their cakes, which bring them to the next level. And the average bakery cakes are never dry, never too sweet... I actually like cake here.
But... the problem is, I can't live on cake and bread, and I don't want all the health problems that come with regularly eating meat and cheese, so... yes, I indulge from time-to-time, but maintaining my health means lately I just feel bored with food at home. Yesterday I acquired oranges shipped in from Israel, and they are the best oranges I've tasted in over three years... That intensity of flavor took me straight back to my first cooking experiences in Jerusalem. I was having flashbacks of the sensory experience. And now I'm realizing why I've lost my motivation to cook at home.
Jerusalem has ruined me.
I realize that sounds very depressing, but knowing this actually makes me feel hopeful. For the last few years I just thought there was something broken inside of me. I go into the kitchen and feel discouraged. I haven't been cooking like I used to. But now I know it's not just some unexplained symptom of life's challenges. I'm actually just feeling deprived. I've figured out what's discouraging me. It makes me determined to grow some of my own food, and to look for it in the right places. That gives me hope that food--even healthy food--can become a joy in my life again.
Photo by Roxanne Desgagnés on Unsplash
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