"It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption." (1 Cor. 1:30)
Sermons are a dime-a-dozen, and many are--at best--motivational speeches. I'm tired of being force-fed theologically deficient, behavior modifying, Old Covenant law focused, self-focused time-fillers. I'm waiting for the message with power that compels us to trust in our Maker more than in our own determination to be better. I'm waiting for the movement of God's spirit rather than a guilt-tripping altar call. I'm waiting for the worship songs that focus on God and His awesomeness rather than our lack and our need (though from time to time, it is fine to recognize it). I'm waiting for the message that places the Holy Spirit in His rightful place as the Center, and as the Head; as the Author, as the Essence of our being, rather than the side character whom we call on to somewhat bolster our ability to achieve righteousness.
I'm tired of being condemned from the pulpit, tired of being underestimated and seen as a statistic. I'm tired of feeling the undertones of self-depreciation because people don't realize who they are, not realizing that they are one with the God of all creation. I'm tired of being fed the personal convictions of others, and the experience-based theology systems. I'm tired of being made to sing about a god who needs to be coaxed "into the room" [God, I'm not trying to get your attention, you're trying to get mine!]. I'm tired of giving ear to people who haven't studied well, who are straight-up wrong about their interpretation of scripture and their idea of who God is.
My God is in me, with me, and throughout me. He is at the core of my being, and He is the reality of my life. He is my righteousness, my holiness, my joy, my patience, my peace, my love, my redeemer, my defender, my rock, my salvation, my high priest, my king, my hope, my life, my heart, my everything. Nothing that I do produces any of these qualities. He is all of these things for me and through me. I won't make a new covenant with my God, I will trust and value the covenant He already made with me. I won't say that I want Him to be king, because He is king. I won't say that He's welcome in my life, because He is my father and He already has every right to it. I'm waiting for someone to put things into the proper perspective.
"...one died for all, and therefore all died."
I am tired of being trained how to sanctify myself--my dead self! Are there no preachers who will preach that we ARE dead to our old life? Why do they have to act like our old sinful nature will pursue us until death? It will if we believe it's still alive! People will manifest what they believe.
Sure, sometimes I act wrongly. Sometimes I have a bad attitude. Sometimes I don't reflect Christ. But that's because I've lost focus of the truth. And I need to hear the truth (I am the truth --Christ!). Fixing my behavior is treating a symptom and not the problem: the problem of trust! People need to know God, to know God's love, and to trust Him. Sin doesn't throw God off the throne. He is and always will be on the throne, despite how I think, act, or feel. Sin doesn't even change His perspective of me, or His love for me! If we heard who we are more often--that we are dead to sin--then we might start acting the part. We might actually start believing it!
But I'm too busy deciphering between the almost truths and the truth itself. Too much of my energy is used up in this endeavor. It can be more confusing to my spirit to listen to an almost-there sermon than to indulge myself in one of my favorite TV shows, from which I know I shouldn't glean spiritual truths. I'm still healing from the destruction and enslavement I experienced from being open to every Christian philosophy and teaching thrown at me. I want to be open to learn from others, I truly do. I try to find the positive message even when I disagree. I also know that people are genuine and that their hearts are in the right place, and that God's grace is for everyone. I don't judge a man's heart by his message. Grace and love, I will extend.
Nevertheless, I am still waiting for the message, the song, the literary work that doesn't leave me striving, hating myself, hating mankind, or believing an almost-but-not-quite-there-truth that actually destroys my trust in Christ's finished work but rather makes me feel like I have to accomplish Christ's finished work in order to be worthy of anything! I'm waiting for the message of the gospel of grace. That sermon seems like one in a million.
There. I said it.
I will conclude with this:
By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person's work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved--even though only as one escaping through the flames. [1Co 3:10-15 NIV]
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